10 Easy Steps to Create a Stay at Home Mom Routine You’ll Love

Last updated on March 6th, 2024

The Benefit to Having a Routine

A daily routine is beneficial for your children.

Children thrive on the predictability that routines provide. When their day is predictable, they feel more in control – and if there’s one thing children love, it’s being in control. For them, feeling in control makes them feel safe.

Feeling in control allows them to exercise some independence, something deeply important to them, considering their whole day is controlled by adults.

Put yourself in your kid’s shoes.

Picture for a moment what it would feel like to have no structure to your day and no say in what you do.

After breakfast, you sit down to read a book, and just when you’re all cozy and enjoying yourself, someone tells you to put the book down, because it’s time to go to the store.

Later, you are watching your favorite show, and just when it gets good, someone comes and turns off the TV, telling you it’s time to go to bed.

It sounds really frustrating and also so random. Wouldn’t it have been nice to know that the plan was to head to the store after breakfast or that you were on the last episode of your show before you had to walk away?

Now, sure, you could argue that in these instances a simple warning would do… “hey, last episode” or “hey, we’re about to head to the store”… but without a routine, wouldn’t you be left wondering when you’ll be able to revisit your hobby again?

Transitions are where you’ll see the majority of your tantrums.

This explains a big part in why transitions can be so hard for kids.

It’s hard enough to stop doing something they are enjoying… but when they have no idea when they’ll be able to do it again, stopping becomes even harder.

Let’s use screen time as an example.

Turning off the TV or iPad is one of the biggest transitions that kids struggle with, especially when screen time is used randomly.

If screen time is used unpredictably, it can be really confusing for children.

Think about it… if screen time is sometimes used for hours, but other times it’s taken away after one show, or it’s sometimes used at breakfast, but other times it’s not allowed, it can feel really frustrating for children when the answer to their screen time request is ‘no’.

It only makes sense that they will have a hard time understanding why they were allowed to watch Bluey during breakfast yesterday, but not today.

So, yep, you guessed it. They have a meltdown about it. You can’t blame them. If I was in their shoes, I’d be mad too. It does seem unfair, and doesn’t make any sense.

This is where your routine will help.

With a routine in place, screen time (and so many other parts of their day) can instead become predictable.

Say a show is put on after naptime every day, around four in the afternoon. And every day, after one show, everyone goes outside to play. Your child will slowly start to predict the order of events, therefore, they will start to protest less (or not at all) when their one show is over.

They know that they will get more of their show tomorrow, at the same time, so they aren’t left guessing when they will get to watch their favorite show again.

Over time, your children will learn to understand the rhythm of the day and will take notice of these patterns. This won’t happen on day one of starting a routine, but you’ll be surprised by how quickly they can catch on.

RELATED: Does your morning routine need a makeover? Check out this post detailing my best tips for falling in love with your mama morning routine.

Your routine takes the blame away from you.

You’ll start to notice that when you have a routine in place, that the routine can take the blame away from you. It kind of ‘parents’ for you.

Say you are ending that after-nap TV show and you get a little bit of grumbling… your response is, “oh honey, I see you’re upset, but we always go outside after our one TV show… we’ll watch more tomorrow after your nap”.

It’s no longer all on you or “because I said so”. It’s just the routine. Simple as that.

If you’re having trouble still, despite verbally chatting about your routine, try a routine chart. It doesn’t have to be Pinterest-perfect. Grab a crayon and make simple illustrations depicting the order of events throughout your day and encourage your child to check over their routine chart with each transition.

Routines help you stay productive throughout the day.

Your children aren’t the only ones that will benefit from a good daily routine.

A realistic daily routine is also hugely beneficial to you. It can provide the structure and discipline that is crucial in keeping a tidy and organized home.

When a routine is utilized in the home, it is easier to stay on top of household chores. This means that areas of the home are less likely to be neglected or overrun. I know that for me, like many of you, dirt and clutter really add to my feelings over overstimulation as a mom, so this one is very important for me.

Having an outlined plan each day will ensure that each area of your home is routinely being cleaned and tidied.

Routines can help ease the mental load.

But on top of all of this, your routine can help you unburden a little bit of that mental load you carry around every day.

When you become a mom, you learn pretty quickly just how many hats moms wear each day. It sure ain’t easy keeping track of everything.

I know that I’m constantly thinking of all of the millions of little things I need to do each day… My brain has often looked a little like this:

• I need to schedule the kids a dental visit.
• I can’t believe Evelyn is big enough to see the dentist already!
• That reminds me, I need to get Evelyn bigger clothes.
• Maybe I’ll head to Target tomorrow.
• I can’t forget to pick up John’s prescription on the way there.
• I’ll call my sister on the drive, I know I forgot to respond to that text she sent earlier.
• Oh! I forgot! I’ve gotta thaw meat for dinner still.
• Gosh, what should I add to the menu next week?
• I know I’m trying to be healthy… I’ll have to find time to scroll Pinterest for a recipe.
• Shoot – I’ve gotta move the clothes to the dryer now.

This is probably what just 5 minutes of thoughts look like for most moms on any given day. It’s astounding how much we learn to juggle and just how heavy our mental load can be.

That is why having a plan for the day is everything – it helps keep all of these thoughts and tasks organized and manageable. It takes the guesswork out of when to do things and what things to do each day throughout the week.

Think of your routine in terms of your day’s ‘plan’.

In the past, before kids, you might have been able to keep up with the house by just winging it each day, having no real plan at all. After all, when you only have yourself to care for, you can stop everything and clean your house for an hour when the mood strikes… but not so much once you’ve got kids.

After kids, almost everything you do will require a little bit of planning. Even simple things, such as a quick trip to the park, takes planning, let alone carving out time to scrub your toilets each week.

Winging it just isn’t an option if you want to successfully operate a home and raise a family without totally burning out.

In motherhood, I’ve learned that without a plan, it ain’t happening. Period. It just won’t. So think of your routine in terms of your plan for the day. This mindset shift can be really helpful when starting a new routine.

Time can feel endless without a routine.

Without any sort of routine, you’re left with this big, giant void of time every day. This can feel overwhelming and the days can feel endless.

In order to fill the void, you might find yourself falling into bad habits. You might start to notice that you are relying heavily on screen time, overspending from boredom shopping, or not keeping up with house cleaning.

A good daily routine can help stop these bad habits from taking root. It can act as your daily guide, and can keep your to do list on track. Your routine answers the question so many of us moms have, “what do I do with my kids all day?”.

Routines don’t have to be rigid.

Routines sometimes get a bad rap. I know that sometimes when people hear the word ‘routine’ they roll their eyes and think that routines equate rigidity. But that is certainly not the case, when done right.

A good daily routine should offer structure, but not so much that it is inflexible, because after all, life is never going to be predictable with kids. There will always be unforeseen tantrums, illnesses, or moments when playing takes priority over chores. That’s just life!

But it is still possible to create a daily routine as a mom, despite life’s ups and downs; one that offers the flexibility needed when raising children.

Routines should adapt as your children grow.

Know that whichever routine you create today, after reading this article, it will likely change a million times over the years. What works really well for you today, will not always work well for you.

Let me explain.

I had a beautiful routine going when I was a mom to one toddler – we were both thriving and I envisioned us doing the same thing for years to come… And then I got pregnant with my second child… And my entire routine that I loved so much, came crashing down.

I was so physically ill for my whole pregnancy, that we had pretty much no routine at all – we were just surviving. I kept telling myself that once my baby was born and I healed from giving birth, we’d get back into our routine. I continued to tell myself this as the months went by with two kids… ‘if only we could get back into our routine, things will feel less chaotic.’

Boy, was I wrong. Because guess what? We NEVER got back to our old routine. It took me a very, very long time to come to the realization that we never again were going to get back into that routine that we loved so much.

You know why? Life was different now. My toddler was older. I had two kids now. I was a different mom and I had far different priorities. I had to move forward into a new routine that fit our new lifestyle.

So if you’re here reading this during a big transition (like going from 1-2), know that your whole routine is going to get a makeover when the new baby arrives and many, many times afterward. This is normal. Do not waste one minute longing for that old routine or trying desperately to make that old routine work.

Sure, you can use some of the framework from your old routine, but it will most certainly receive a very big makeover throughout the years.

Creating a routine for summer and winter is helpful, too.

Another thing to keep in mind is that it is normal and expected to have a very different summer and winter routine. For most of us, winter means more indoor playtime and more schoolwork, whereas summertime means more outdoor playtime and more leisure.

RELATED: Struggling with toddler bedtime? Check out this post detailing an easy bedtime routine for a young toddler.

Here are 10 Steps to Creating a Daily Routine

Follow these 10 simple steps to create a daily routine that is realistic and sustainable. The secret to creating a routine that sticks, is creating a routine that you love and look forward to doing!

1. Divide Your Day into Chunks of Time

The first step to creating a good daily routine with your kids is to jot down whatever chunks of time make the most sense to you.

You can keep it simple:

• morning
• afternoon
• evening

Or you can divide it further, like this:

• early morning (defined as wake > breakfast)
• late morning (breakfast > AM snack)
• early afternoon (AM snack > lunch)
• late afternoon (lunch > PM snack)
• early evening (PM snack > dinner)
• late evening (dinner > bedtime)

I’ve utilized both versions and have liked both. Use whichever works best for you in the season of life you are in!

***For the purposes of this guide, I will add in basic estimations of time to these example tables, so you can get a little bit of an idea as to what this could look like in real life, in a perfect day. Just know that nothing will ever be exact and never minute by minute. No two days will ever look exactly the same in real life.***

Time Chunk	Step 1: Chunks of Time
Morning 6:00-12:00
Afternoon 12:00-6:00
Evening 6:00-10:30

2. Determine Sleep Patterns

What time your family eats and sleeps will become the foundation for your daily routine.

So let’s start with sleep. Jot down when your child typically wakes and sleeps (naps/quiet time and nighttime) each day.

*Remember, that sleep is something that changes all the time as your children grow (one of the many reasons your schedule will adjust over time).

For now, just focus on your children’s sleep – we will figure out your sleep in later steps.

Time Chunk	Step 2: Sleep Patterns
Morning 6:00-12:00	child wakes (8:00)
Afternoon 12:00-6:00	child naps (1:30-3:30)
Evening 6:00-10:30	child’s bedtime (8:00)

3. Determine Eating Patterns

The next step in building your schedule is to choose when you’d like to eat breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks each day.

Every single part of your schedule will be planned around eating and sleeping, so these first two steps are important to figure out.

A good rule of thumb, is to eat every 2-3 hours and follow age appropriate waketimes (which you can find the latter at takingcarababies.com).

Time Chunk	Step 3: Eating Patterns
Morning 6:00-12:00	child wakes (8:00) breakfast (8:30) morning snack (10:30)
Afternoon 12:00-6:00	lunch (12:30) child naps (1:30-3:30) afternoon snack (3:30)
Evening 6:00-10:30	dinner (6:00) child bedtime (8:00)

4. Decide On Your Daily Tasks

The trick to running a home efficiently and effectively, is by following my ‘one daily task’ rule. I swear by this method, and have been using it for years.

Write out the most important things that your family and household need done each week in order to function properly. This will look very different for everyone. Try to stick to just 5-8 things. You don’t want to double-up days, when you can avoid it.

I’m not talking about the things that can naturally occur daily (like laundry, running the dishwasher, and tidying up toys), but the slightly bigger tasks, such as menu planning, cleaning bathrooms, grocery shopping, etc.

Once you write out your top daily tasks, fit them into your week where they make sense. Let this be your weekly guide from now on.

Mine looks a little like this at the moment (mind you, it fluctuates as life goes on and I’ve had many variations of this).

• Monday: pick up grocery order
• Tuesday: clean bathrooms and wipe fingerprints from obvious surfaces
• Wednesday: meal prep breakfast +/- lunch for next 3 days
• Thursday: *bigger task
• Friday: create menu, grocery list + place grocery order
• Saturday: none
• Sunday: meal prep breakfast +/- lunch for next 3 days + change linens (husband vacuums upstairs + mops downstairs, as needed)

For bigger tasks, I’ve done many different things to tackle them over the years.

Bigger tasks (such as cleaning baseboards, windows, and the refrigerator), are a little bit trickier to navigate once you become a mom.

*Currently, I have designated Thursdays as my ‘big task’ day and I will take on a bigger task such as cleaning the dishwasher, scrubbing baseboards, or decluttering dresser drawers for an hour or so on this day.

Now that my kids are getting bigger, they are able to hang out with me while I do these things, if I want, but that wasn’t always the case.

When my kids were both very young babies (first year of life), these things got ignored. That’s just life! There isn’t any time or energy left for cleaning baseboards in your home, when you’re surviving a toddler and newborn and you have no extra money for a maid service. It just is what it is.

Here are a couple of options for the bigger tasks. I have done a variation of all of these, during different seasons of life.

How often:

• not at all and skip them (within reason) if you are in survival mode
• take an ‘organic’ approach, and clean them as you notice them getting dirty
• create a separate schedule for these things, say one big task per month, per week, or something similar
• twice a year (spring cleaning, fall cleaning), tackle one job per week over the course of a few weeks

When:

• save them for weekends when your spouse is home with the kids (I try to avoid this, whenever possible – weekends = family time for us… but sometimes this is what you’ve gotta do)
• on a weekday with the kids joining in
• on a weekday during quiet time / nap time (I try to avoid this whenever possible – naptime = my time – but again, sometimes unavoidable)
• in the evenings when your spouse is home with the kids

Back to those smaller, daily tasks… Once you decide what tasks you are going to accomplish each day of the week, plan out when you’d like to get them done. Do you want to get them done first thing in the morning or is your toddler too cranky/needy at that time? Pick what works for you and add that to your routine table.

Time Chunk	Step 4: Daily Task
Morning 6:00-12:00	child wakes (8:00) breakfast (8:30) daily task (9:30) morning snack (10:30)
Afternoon 12:00-6:00	lunch (12:30) child naps (1:30-3:30) afternoon snack (3:30)
Evening 6:00-10:30	dinner (6:00) child bedtime (8:00)

RELATED: Check out this post all about mom’s bedtime routine. Your bedtime routine is just as important as your children’s!

5. Carve Out Time for Your Kids

What do you and your kids love to do to pass time? This, too, will look different for everyone.

Ideas include:

• outings
  • library
  • zoo
  • children’s museum
  • shopping
  • park
  • play date
  • splash pad
  • nature center
  • science center
• at-home activities
  • homeschool
  • sensory bins
  • arts + crafts
  • learning activities
  • play outside
  • screen time
• classes
  • swim
  • gym
  • dance
  • music
  • story time

Once you have figured out what you’d like to do, for the most part, plan when you’ll have time for it. Write in school drop off and pick up times here, too, if this applies to you – it does not apply to me, so it is not listed in my example.

I usually try to balance ‘mom stuff’ with ‘fun stuff’ so that my kids aren’t bored for hours on end or I’m not just playing with them for hours on end while getting nothing done.

Time Chunk	Step 5: Kid’s Activities
Morning 6:00-12:00	child wakes (8:00) breakfast (8:30) homeschool activity (9:00) daily task (9:30) morning snack (10:30) play outside or outing (11:00)
Afternoon 12:00-6:00	lunch (12:30) child naps (1:30-3:30) afternoon snack + screen time (3:30) play outside or outing (4:00)
Evening 6:00-10:30	dinner (6:00) child bedtime (8:00)

6. Carve Out Time for You

Build time for you to do what you like in your every day schedule.

First things first, use nap time or quiet time for yourself. Even if that means a quick cat nap. Leave that open space for you to do what you want each day and to take a break. This is absolutely crucial for reducing your burnout.

Start to jot down what things make you feel good.

What things make you a better person and a better mom? What things are critical to your health, happiness, and wellbeing? Decide what those things are so they can also be built into your routine too.

For me, it’s pretty simple – wearing makeup, working out, reading books, and blogging make me feel good (amongst many other things!) These are four things that help me feel my best, so I aim to do them every day.

It’s SO easy to skip basic things, such as getting out of pajamas, when you’re a stay at home mom, but it makes such a huge difference in your attitude once you prioritize yourself. I can promise you that you will feel 10X better if you are dressed for the ‘job’ of being a mom.

Timing is important. I immediately feel more productive when my workout and shower is done first thing in the morning. I feel ready to tackle the day and take on anything that comes my way. I find that if I don’t do it first thing, I am less likely to do it at all and I feel sluggish all day.

I also find time to spend on my hobbies (blogging and reading books) every day. It’s one of those things that can still connect me to the ‘me’ I was before I was a mom. I think doing things that are all for you aside from your role as a mom can be super beneficial to your mental health.

So think about what things make you feel good and when you’d like to do those things. This step will help determine your wake time and bedtime, too.

Time Chunk	Step 6: Mom’s Wellbeing
Morning 6:00-12:00	mom wakes + works out (6:00) mom showers + gets ready + listen to audiobook (7:00) child wakes (8:00) breakfast (8:30) homeschool activity (9:00) daily task (9:30) morning snack (10:30) play outside or outing (11:00)
Afternoon 12:00-6:00	lunch (12:30) child naps + mom’s hobby free time (1:30-3:30) afternoon snack + screen time (3:30) play outside or outing (4:00)
Evening 6:00-10:30	dinner (6:00) child bedtime (8:00) gratitude journal + read book (10:00) mom’s bedtime (10:30)

7. Add in Small Pockets of Joy

Write down small ways you can add some joy to your routine. This may seem really tedious to write down, but at first, do it. Eventually, these ideas will become second nature and habit – but it helps to have them down on paper in the initial days of practicing a routine.

Pair any monotonous task with something joyful. This can be as simple as listening to a podcast while doing your makeup, lighting a candle while cleaning your house, or playing music during lunch.

These little pockets of joy are the small things that will aid in you falling in love with your routine – which will lead to your routine sticking! You’ll start to look forward to your routine as you look forward to these joyful moments.

Time Chunk	Step 7: Joyful Habits
Morning 6:00-12:00	mom wakes + journals + smoothie + works out (6:00) mom showers + gets ready + listens to audiobook (7:00) child wakes + reads favorite books with mom (8:00) breakfast + put on a record (8:30) homeschool activity (9:00) daily task + music on (9:30) morning snack + kid’s podcast on (10:30) play outside or outing (11:00)
Afternoon 12:00-6:00	lunch + facetime dad (12:30) child naps + mom’s hobby free time (1:30-3:30) afternoon snack + screen time (3:30) play outside or outing (4:00)
Evening 6:00-10:30	dinner + burn candle + use the good plates (6:00) child bedtime (8:00) gratitude journal + essential oil diffuser + read book (10:00) mom’s bedtime (10:30)

8. Factor in the Every Day Tasks

We are almost done! Now, let’s factor in those every day tasks – these tasks will also become second nature in no time at all. But for now, jot them down so you can start to create these habits.

I’m talking about things like:

• emptying the dishwasher
• laundry
• quick vacuum of kitchen
• tidying up toys
• taking out trash

Basically, the monotonous tasks that can become overwhelming if not done every day. Let’s build them into the routine so that they do not become overwhelming.

Jot down which tasks need done daily and determine when to do them.

Time Chunk	Step 8: Every Day Tasks
Morning 6:00-12:00	mom wakes + journals + smoothie + works out (6:00) dad unloads dishwasher + makes bed (6:00) mom showers + gets ready + listens to audiobook (7:00) child wakes + read favorite books with mom (8:00) breakfast + put on a record + mom puts dried dishes away + clean up breakfast (8:30) get kids dressed + homeschool activity (9:00) daily task + music on (9:30) morning snack + kid’s podcast on + clean up snack (10:30) play outside or outing (11:00)
Afternoon 12:00-6:00	lunch + facetime dad + clean up lunch (12:30) tidy up toys + child naps + mom’s hobby free time (1:30-3:30) afternoon snack + screen time + clean up snack + prepare dinner (3:30) play outside or outing (4:00)
Evening 6:00-10:30	dinner + burn candle + use the good plates + clean up dinner (6:00) dad vacuums kitchen + takes out trash + mom bathes kids (6:30) wash + dry + fold laundry (7:00) tidy up toys (7:30) child bedtime (8:00) run dishwasher (10:00) gratitude journal + essential oil diffuser + read book (10:00) mom’s bedtime (10:30)

9. Make Adjustments Through Trial and Error

Keep adjusting your schedule until you are content.

Maybe you initially planned to do your chores around noon – but realized your children are too hangry at that point to tolerate the inattention at that hour. Or maybe you planned for a stroller ride at noon everyday, but realized it’s way too hot out at that time, and so you adjust it to early morning.

Adjust your schedule until it makes sense for your family. Just because it’s on paper now, doesn’t mean it can’t be changed. You want to be excited about your plan for the day! This (plus adding those pockets of joy!) will help it stick.

10. Save Weekends for Family Time

We save our weekends for family time. This means that we have learned to hold our boundaries big time and say no to things on weekends. This can be tough at first, but really, it is so necessary if you want to have meaningful family time.

For us, Saturdays are the only full day that we are all together because I actually work out of the home one day a week, on Sundays. For this reason, we are pretty strict on what things we say ‘yes’ to on the weekends.

You really don’t have to go to every single charity event, barbeque, or kid’s birthday party. I know that sounds a little harsh – but truly, you really don’t have to.

If we said yes to every little event or thing we were invited to, I’d literally never see my husband or have any Saturdays just us four. So all I’m saying is, save your ‘yes’ for those events that are super meaningful to your family and protect your time alone together.

One way to think of it is like: only say ‘yes’ to those things that are a ‘HELL YES!’ and say no to all the rest, whenever you can. Protect that time together as a core family.

We don’t always do crazy and exciting stuff on Saturdays – sometimes we just have lazy days around the house or at a local park – what matters is that we are all together.

My Current Daily Routine

Here is my ‘on paper’ routine (meaning, in a perfect world this is the routine but we don’t strictly follow the times listed, as that would be impossible with kids) with a 15 month old and almost 4 year old.

I do homeschool preschool with my almost 4 year old and we are not in any classes or sports. My husband works full time and contributes equally to the household tasks.

At this point, I don’t need to refer back to my schedule at all, but I’m going to show you what my schedule looks like with ALL of the things that I listed in my step-by-step guide (It’s pretty similar to my guide examples!)

Time Chunk	My Daily Routine with 1 + 4 Year Old
Morning 6:00-12:00	mom wakes + journals + has a light snack + works out (6:00) dad makes bed + unloads dishwasher (6:00) mom showers + gets ready + listens to audiobook (7:00) wake 1 year old and then 4 year old + read a few books together (8:00) breakfast + put on a record + clean up breakfast + get kids ready (8:30) homeschool preschool activity (9:00) daily task (see step 4 for my daily task list) (9:45) morning snack + clean up snack (10:45) play outside or outing (11:00)
Afternoon 12:00-6:00	lunch + call dad + clean up lunch (12:45) tidy up toys + read books together (1:15) 1 year old naps + 4 year old quiet time + mom blogs (1:30-3:30) afternoon snack + clean up snack + TV show + mom prepares dinner (3:30) play outside or outing (4:00)
Evening 6:00-10:30	dinner + burn candle + use the good plates + music on (6:00) dad vacuums kitchen + takes out trash + cleans up dinner + mom bathes kids + puts them in pajamas (6:30) wash + dry + fold laundry + play as a family (7:00) tidy up toys + quick, light bedtime snack for 4 year old (7:30) 1 year old bedtime routine (mom) + 4 year old potty + brush teeth (dad) (7:45) 4 year old bedtime routine (mom and dad) (8:00) mom + dad relax (8:15) run dishwasher (10:15) remove makeup + gratitude journal + mom’s bedtime (10:30)

This is super detailed, as you can see. When I first started my routine, I printed this out and left it on the fridge to refer to throughout the day until I had it down pat. It’s entirety is now second nature to me and I don’t need to refer back to it to know how my day will pan out.

This is just an example of a ‘perfect day’

I know I’ve mentioned it a bunch of times throughout this post, but it is worth mentioning again… the times listed are only there to give you a rough idea of what the day can look like. We by no means follow this to a T. I just know that it is very helpful to see a ‘guide’ when figuring out a routine.

When summertime starts, I will tweak this routine and factor in a lot more outdoor time, less structured activities, etc. This is what we are doing in the cold wintertime.

We don’t always follow this routine perfectly, either! There are many days that we skip baths altogether, or skip tidying up toys, or head out to Target to window shop after dinner, etc. But having a foundation to refer to, is really helpful still.

I know that with practice, you can create a routine aka ‘plan’ for the day that you love and look forward to doing each day. If you are struggling to stick to small, daily habits, I highly recommend checking out the book Atomic Habits by James Clear – I found it really helpful in framing my mindset around habits.

Let me know if you have any questions, I’m happy to help.