Last updated on October 23rd, 2023
In this post, I discuss what makes mornings so challenging for moms, how to start creating a morning routine, and my 10 best simple morning habits that will transform your entire day.
Morning routines impact your whole day
It’s true; and more specifically, mom’s morning routine actually has the power to affect the entire household’s day.
Have you ever noticed that those first few hours of the day tend to set the tone for everything else that follows?
Let me explain.
Picture this…
You wake up past your alarm (for the millionth time). You walk into a messy kitchen to get breakfast ready (forgot to clear the sink last night again). You’ve got no time to deal with the sink right now because you’re running late (as always).
Then you rush through your makeup routine while the kids are fighting for your attention (cue mom guilt). Finally, you fly out the door, all while snapping at anyone that slows you down (cue more mom guilt).
Sound familiar?
Or how about this one…
Your kids wake you up, begging for breakfast. You haven’t even had a moment to open your eyes and go to the bathroom in peace, but you ignore your basic needs and handle your kid’s needs instead.
By the time everyone is fed and breakfast is cleaned up, you find yourself turning on Disney+ to relax for “a minute” to drink some coffee and wake up a little more. You end up scrolling social media for awhile. All of a sudden it’s almost noon and nothing has gotten done, plus you’re still in your jammies.
Woops!
Now imagine this…
You go to bed around the same time each night and wake up just half an hour before your kids.
You put on a little makeup while listening to a podcast, drink some coffee (while it’s still hot!), and put breakfast on the table. You head in to wake up your kids feeling good that you’ve had a little bit of caffeine already and your teeth are brushed. (Look at you go!)
The kids know that breakfast is waiting for them, like it is every morning, so they don’t even have time to grumble about being hungry. You quickly clean up breakfast, because the sink and dishwasher are already empty and ready to go.
You can see what a difference having a solid morning routine can make and how important your role as mom is, in setting the tone for the day. When you let your days run you, instead of running your days on your schedule, the whole house feels it.
But what is it that makes morning habits so hard to create?
Mornings are hard, right? Just thinking about my alarm going off makes me groan. I already know when I go to bed at night, that I’m going to be tired tomorrow. It’s just a fact.
Motherhood is a never-ending constant state of exhaustion. Even if I go to bed early, aiming for 8 hours of sleep, I will wake up tired. It’s inevitable. And this is all while my kid’s DO sleep through the night (thank you, sleep training).
I think it’s just the constant mental workload, the always putting other’s needs before your own, and probably a bit of mental health issues sprinkled in (hello, PPA).
It’s so easy to get stuck in a rut where you stay up too late and hit snooze until the last minute the next morning. I have been there more times than I’d like to admit, just winging it each day.
Staying up too late feels necessary when you’re a mom
Our kid’s bedtime is our uninterrupted me–time. It’s sacred. It’s the first time all day that we can put ourselves first.
We can finally binge our favorite show, enjoy the quiet, and browse our phones in peace.
It’s the first time in probably 12-14 hours that you can finally not speak to anyone. Not answer questions. Not fulfill someone else’s needs. Not break up a fight. Not prepare another. freaking. snack.
When 8pm hits, I can’t run down those steps fast enough to enjoy my favorite snack (without sharing!!!) and say absolutely nothing for that entire first hour.
During that first hour of me-time: nobody touch me, nobody speak to me; honestly, don’t even look at me. This is my time to decompress.
It’s completely normal to crave this alone time
Counting down the minutes until your kids are finally in bed means that you have done an excellent job all day (even if you don’t think you did, I can promise you, that you did great).
You’ve been doin’ the damn thing all day and you need to recharge so you can do it all again tomorrow.
The problem that so many of us face each night, is saying, “okay, I’ve had enough me-time, I think I’ll just go to bed now”.
So many of us run ourselves ragged throughout the day, that we get left with this feeling before bed that we haven’t had enough down time yet. So we stay up super late trying to fill our empty cup… but haven’t you noticed that this doesn’t work long-term?
Staying up super late is not the answer to combatting burn out, BUT it is sometimes a necessity
If you’ve been stuck in the stay-up-too-late / hit-snooze-every-morning rut and are ready to make a change, I’ve got some simple tips to help you break this cycle.
BUT before I share these 10 easy steps with you, I just want to say that if you are reading this post, and you are struggling in survival mode, know that I see you, and I absolutely have been you, many, many times.
Survival mode can last a lot longer than you’d think
I have had seasons of life where getting up early and sticking to a solid routine was absolutely impossible and so far out of reach for me.
I beat myself up every day for a very long time when I couldn’t seem to ‘crack the code’ and be the morning person that I wanted to be.
If you are in a season where this just feels completely out of reach, here is your permission to LET IT GO. Just let go of the guilt.
If you are in the newborn stage, struggling with your mental health, or you just have way too much on your plate to add more expectations, please, let it all go.
Save this post for later and circle back when you are in a better frame of mind and have the capacity to try making adjustments to your routine. Seriously, I can not stress this to you enough.
Don’t compare yourself to what other moms are doing
I know that when I was a new mom, probably in the first 18 months or so, I’d get upset seeing other mom’s morning routines. I’d watch ‘Day in the Life’ vlogs and get so depressed watching other moms get up at five in the morning and live this ‘perfect life’.
During that whole first 18 months with my first baby, I would compare myself to all the other moms out there that seemed to be handling motherhood so much better than I was.
Everyone has struggles that are unique to them
But the reality was that I was facing challenges and struggles unique to ME. None of these other moms that I was comparing myself to were living in my exact shoes with my exact circumstances.
Remember, every single one of us has a very different story to tell.
Maybe those moms that you compare yourself to have more resources available to them that you do not have: financial support, emotional support, less past trauma, less current obstacles, etc.
Don’t waste your days living in comparison or guilt
Just please, go easy on yourself. I hate that I wasted YEARS of life hating myself because I was not living up to my own exceedingly high expectations of what I thought a stay at home mom should be doing each day.
BUT if you are in a healthy enough place where you have the capacity to make changes and your current routine is just not working anymore, then keep reading.
Sometimes, it just takes a small change to see a big difference
The ultimate overall goal in combating mom burn-out is to create a daily routine that is sustainable, but you need to take baby steps towards this and begin with your morning routine first.
Once you master your morning routine, you can use that momentum to craft a daily routine that lets you recharge as you go.
Recharging as you go is CRITICAL to feeling less burnt out by the end of each day and needing less time spent unwinding late into the night.
When you don’t take time in your day to keep up with your own physical, mental, and emotional needs, you end up with those late nights desperately attempting to fulfill your needs.
The key to more successful mornings is waking up even just a little bit before your kids
It took me spending far too many of my mornings dashing around, late for something, or half-asleep and irritable before I finally said enough is enough. Digging my way out of a state of chaos only became possible once I started waking before my kids.
I’m not saying that you need to have this insane four in the morning routine. Try starting with just 20-30 minutes earlier than normal.
You actually might find that 20-30 minutes is all that you need to start the day off right.
How to figure out what time you should wake up
To figure out your desired wake time, first decide what you want to accomplish each morning alone before your kids are awake.
Do you hate being interrupted during your daily workout? Then it sounds like you should do that before they are up.
Do you want to sit and enjoy your cup of coffee and journal for a bit each morning? Then factor that in.
Get out a pen and paper and list all of the things you’d rather do alone each morning. Then try to figure out how long each of those tasks will take.
If you find that you’d like to accomplish A LOT before the kids are up, I would still start small. Aim for just 30 minutes, or one specific task.
Once you master that, try pushing yourself to get up earlier and earlier until you are waking at your desired time.
Make your morning habit goals realistic and doable
Part of what makes us moms feel burnt out, is completing certain tasks while parenting and while being interrupted 500,000 times.
I know this makes me feel very overstimulated and I am more likely to snap at my kids. This can make chores feel more stressful and can totally just wipe out all of your energy.
So think of those things that tend to leave you feeling frustrated and on edge the most when you do them with your kids and add those to your “would rather do this alone” list.
This will take some trial and error, rearranging, and even some settling on your end.
Let me explain.
Maybe in a perfect world, you’d love to workout, shower, journal, and drink coffee alone each morning. But in the real world, this might mean you’d have to wake up at four in the morning and that’s simply not realistic or sustainable.
There’s gonna have to be a little bit of give and take.
Make a list and number it in order of priority (as in which items you MUST do alone at the top).
If it looks like this:
- Shower / Get Ready
- Coffee
- Journal
- Workout
Then I’d first aim for setting time aside for a SOLO shower and doing your makeup. This will probably take 30 minutes, or so.
Once you master getting up 30 minutes earlier to do one task, reassess.
If you aren’t willing or able to wake any earlier than this… here is where you are going to settle a little.
In this example, you will have to plan for a workout alongside your kids, later in the morning. Now, if you absolutely hate this idea, and would rather workout alone, make it a goal.
Keep doing baby steps.
EITHER WAY, you still want to plan to accomplish whatever tasks are on your list, kids or no kids.
Use the list you created as a guide for your morning flow and factor in when you can accomplish each task. Have a plan for it, and it is more likely to happen.
Utilize these 10 simple morning habits
Once you’ve come up with your personal list of morning goals, it’s time to think about how you can enhance your morning even further.
These 10 morning habits will aide in your productivity and keep you on track each day for success. Tailor these habits to fit alongside your own morning wish list that you’ve created for yourself.
1. Avoid News and Social Media First Thing In the Morning
Avoiding news and social media for the first few hours of your day is crucial to having a positive mindset first thing in the morning.
If you are laying in bed scrolling through your apps the moment your alarm goes off, try to stop this habit now and see if it makes a difference. I promise, social media can wait a few hours.
Beginning your day glimpsing into other people’s lives or reading news articles can negatively affect your mental health.
Think about how you feel when you read about violence, natural disasters, or yet another Instagram post about someone else’s ‘perfect’ life. Don’t give total strangers that power over your day.
Set boundaries for yourself, just like you would for your children
Let me say it again, because this one is so important… Set boundaries for yourself, just like you would for your children.
Set boundaries when it comes to your scrolling. It’s scary how easy it is to lose track of time.
You sit down to scroll for a minute and suddenly, an entire hour (or two) has gone by and you realize you haven’t even started your long to do list or played with your kids. Not a good feeling.
My ‘ah-ha’ moment was when I realized that I set all sorts of boundaries for my kids all the time. I limit screen time, make them eat vegetables, do a set bedtime, and so on, yet I am not setting boundaries for myself. Why not? We need boundaries in our lives just as much as our littles do.
Everyone is different. You need to think about your own morning routine, and schedule in social media time accordingly.
Maybe it’s while you enjoy your post-workout snack or a cup of coffee. Or while your toddler is doing a quiet activity. Maybe you wait all the way until naptime. Do what feels right.
Either way, choose when and how long you’d like to invest your time in social media and put the phone down when you’re done.
I promise, you won’t miss it. You’ll be amazed at how much more time you find in your day and how drastically your mood will change.
Some boundaries I have in place for social media are:
- No phones at the table
- Wait until the kids are busy eating their morning snack before hopping on in the day
- Avoid social media after 10pm
- Silence / remove notifications (that stupid red circle seems to hold so much power over me!)
Write down your boundaries and stick to them.
2. Drink A Ton Of Water… And Then Drink Some More
Your body is begging you to drink more water. I cannot stress this one enough. It is imperative that you begin your day with a big glass of water (or 3!). It will most certainly make you feel better and more energized to hydrate your body first thing in the morning.
I used to be the type of person that just didn’t drink fluids. I’d have maybe 3-4 glasses of water a day. I just never felt very thirsty. But once I started intentionally hydrating, it made a world of difference.
It shocked me how energized I felt when I made this change. Now I aim for finishing 24oz of ice water before breakfast each morning and another 24oz with breakfast. I’ve learned that you have to be very intentional with this habit, or it won’t happen.
3. Get In the Habit of Moving Your Body
Moving your body every day should become part of your normal routine. Admittedly, this one took me forever to grasp.
In the past, I’ve never been one to workout, let alone enjoy it. I used to believe that workouts were designed as punishment for those that needed to lose weight. I was so wrong and I can’t believe it took me so long to realize it.
Moving your body should never be punishment for indulging in the foods you love. Choosing exercises or activities that you enjoy doing is critical to sustaining this daily habit. Hate running? Don’t do it. Hate cardio? You don’t have to do that either. Just move. Move in whatever way feels right for you.
It’s no secret that working out increases your energy and stabilizes your mood. This is what keeps me feeling my best and able to keep up with my kids. On days that I struggle for motivation, I remember that I have never regretted completing a workout, but have often regretted NOT doing one.
Moving your body should be simple and make you feel good. Maybe you choose a 20 minute yoga video from YouTube or a walk through your neighborhood with the stroller or maybe you love weight lifting.
Whatever your thing is, just be consistent. Even if you can only give 15 minutes of your time towards exercise, do that. Just start with something small and don’t be afraid to try new things.
If you are in a season of life where a workout is just not possible (been there), try setting a goal of reaching a certain amount of steps on your Fitbit each day. Then slowly increase that goal, eventually working up to a workout.
4. Listen to an Audiobook or Podcast That Makes You Happy
Listening to an audiobook is my favorite morning ritual.
Honestly, this is what motivates me to wake up before my kids every morning. I listen to audiobooks religiously and it’s how I was able to read over 80 books last year and run a monthly book club.
Being able to have that mental stimulation first thing in the morning can help power you through singing “Wheels On The Bus” for the 60th time in a row or managing a toddler meltdown. Letting your mind wander into a story or podcast can help you forget about the day-to-day stresses and worries.
Pro Tip: The next time you listen to a podcast or audiobook, set the listening speed to 2X so that you can get further into the story during your kid-free morning minutes.
Try listening while you do your hair and makeup or laundry; basically any menial tasks. It can take you away from the monotony of the task and challenges your brain. As a SAHM, this is so important for me, or my brain just feels like mush all day.
Listening to stories and hearing other people’s voices also helps me feel less lonely and isolated as a stay at home mom. I know that I’m not alone in this feeling.
5. Get Ready and Wear Your Favorite Clothes
It is so easy to get stuck in the ratty sweatpants-stained-shirts-greasy-hair-rut when you’re home alone all day. But I promise, you will feel 1000 times better if you get ready each day.
I mean, you don’t have to get carried away, this isn’t for date night. If makeup and curling irons aren’t your thing, don’t do it. Just do the things that make you, feel like you.
Do what makes you feel good about yourself. Wear your favorite clothes. Clean yourself up and feel confident.
I rock leggings and a cute messy bun pretty much everyday, because it’s what I feel best in. And this is my point; clean up and feel good in how you present yourself. You will feel so much better about yourself and it will instantly give you an energy boost.
It’s very easy to have the mindset as a SAHM of, “nobody will see me anyway, so why bother?” Do it for yourself. Trust me on this one.
6. Make Your Bed Each Morning
Making your bed every morning is a pretty basic concept but it’s a great way to teach yourself discipline.
It goes back to one of the first chores we were assigned as kids and will likely be one of the first chores you assign to your own children, so it’s nice to be a good example.
Make your bed the proper way. Not just throwing the duvet over-top haphazardly. Tuck in those sheets, fluff the pillows. Make your bedroom your cozy oasis and take pride in honoring your bedroom in this way.
This daily ritual will also aid in your nightly bedtime routine too.
7. Practice Gratitude Every Single Morning
Take the extra five minutes in your morning to pause and reflect. This is so so important in our lives.
Too often, we are busy worrying about the next thing and getting through our to do list to stop and appreciate all of the beautiful things right in front of us.
This can look like a silent mindful moment before the day gets in full swing, a quick journal entry, or filling out a daily prompted gratitude journal.
Maybe you even do some deep breathing and a few simple stretches. Just take a moment to slow down and reflect inward.
Disclaimer: The ABCs of Motherhood is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy.
Personally, I am in love with this Q&A journal geared towards motherhood.
Each day it prompts you with a question related towards your children or motherhood. There are a few lines to form a simple response to each question on the same date for 5 years.
I’ve been using mine for a couple years now, and it’s like stepping back in time for a moment each day when I read my past responses.
8. Open Your Curtains and Blinds
Open up your house and greet the day. There’s something refreshing about opening up your house first thing in the morning.
We sleep with blackout curtains (serious game changer) so our bedroom is very dark unless we open up our curtains and blinds.
I do the same for the whole house and I take pleasure in welcoming the natural light into our home. It helps me wake up and motivates me to spend time outside later in the day.
I like to take a moment to pause and appreciate the scene outside, whether that be new leaves and birds in the spring or fresh snow in the winter. It’s a perfect time to chat about weather with young kids too!
9. Greet Your Children with a Smile
Greet those beautiful babies with lots of smiles. Mamas, this one is everything.
Our children feed off of our energy and there’s nothing worse then setting the tone for their day in a negative way, by marching in their room a grumpy mess to wake them. Our little ones truly do pick up on so much that we don’t say.
Even on my hardest days, I make an effort to take a deep breath before I enter their rooms and greet my babies with a big smile and an enthusiastic, “Good morning babies! I can’t wait to spend the day with you!” And they always reward me with the biggest cheesiest grins.
10. Eat a Satisfying Breakfast
Begin every single morning with an awesome breakfast. Make breakfast something you look forward to each day.
I’m somewhat of a breakfast fanatic. It’s my favorite meal of the day. I could eat breakfast food all day. Pancakes and bacon for dinner? Sign me up!
It’s so important to fuel your body first thing in the morning with a nutrient-dense and delicious meal.
Whatever I eat for breakfast, affects what I eat for the rest of the day. If I have a bland breakfast, I’ll have junk food cravings almost immediately afterward.
Eating a balanced breakfast that leaves you satisfied and full helps keep cravings at bay and leaves you energized so that you can power through the rest of your morning.
You absolutely can do this
Incorporating these habits into my daily routine has improved my energy and mood drastically so that I can show up and be the mom that I want to be. It truly has transformed my entire mindset and I know that it will help you too!
Remember, start small and work your way up to your optimal routine. You’ve got this!
I’m always happy to chat and answer questions, so don’t hesitate to email me or DM me on social media!
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