Last updated on March 6th, 2024
Inside: Surviving the first trimester can feel impossible when you’re nauseous all day. Trying to take care of your toddler while dealing with these annoying symptoms can be challenging. In this post I share tips for getting through those first few months of your pregnancy while also caring for your toddler.
The First Trimester Morning Sickness
I know I’m not the first to admit that the first trimester is tough. You might be one of the lucky ones that doesn’t experience any symptoms during the first trimester (ahem – my sister. And yes, I kind of hate you for it. Just kidding!). But seriously, can you please share some of that rare unicorn magic with me?
But if you are part of the 70% of women that experience morning sickness, girl, I see you. I am you.
I experienced pretty bad morning sickness with my first (viable) pregnancy but nothing prepared me for the level of illness I experienced in my second pregnancy.
Morning Sickness While Caring For A Toddler
The only way I can describe my experience with the first trimester in my second pregnancy is like this: you have the worst flu of your life, and just as you’re vomiting for the third time in an hour and crying into the toilet, someone hands you a toddler who wants a piggy back ride and a snack all while begging you to sing ‘Wheels on the Bus’.
Sounds like so much fun, right?
First time pregnancy morning sickness is tough, but being able to rest and veg out while you’re nauseous is such a saving grace that you won’t even realize you had until you are pregnant and have a toddler the next time around. Experiencing severe morning sickness while caring for a toddler has got to be one of the more challenging things motherhood has thrown at me so far.
But I got through it. And you will too. We all do. This is what makes us mamas so strong.
Women Are Seriously Awesome
We have this amazing ability within us to power through any hardship or struggle and still be there for our babies. We willingly put our bodies through this for our babies. And we do it again and again. We really are amazing, aren’t we?
I will say that if you’re searching for tips to reduce morning sickness, such as special foods or products, you’re going to have to look elsewhere. Because in my experience, when you are severely ill, none of that stuff works. The only thing that got me through was actual medication my doctor okayed, but more on that later.
1. Accept any and all support you can get
I know not everyone is fortunate enough to receive any sort of help, and my heart goes out to anyone going it alone on their motherhood journey. But if you’ve got anyone at all that you can reach out to, do it.
Whether this is your own mom, a friend, your partner, any family member, a church member, a neighbor, coworker, or counselor. Literally anyone.
Maybe you get some support in the form of an ear to listen and let you vent about how awful you feel. Or maybe they run to the store to get you some crackers and ginger ale when the vomiting suddenly hits. Or maybe they can even watch your toddler for an hour or two one day while you take a nap.
Ask For Help When You Need It
Do not be afraid to ask for help. Let me repeat that again: GIRL, ASK FOR HELP. Don’t feel like you’ve got to do it all and superwoman your way through this.
Sometimes venting is all you need but sometimes our support systems work little miracles by coming over to help out when you need it most. Be open to offers of help and be willing to ask for it when you need it.
On probably my worst day, while my husband was caring for our son, I called my mom in tears because I couldn’t stop vomiting and dry heaving. I couldn’t get out of bed and couldn’t play with toddler. I couldn’t even eat or drink anything. It was coming up on 8 hours straight of this. I was physically and mentally DONE and at my breaking point. And I had to work a few hours from then, so I was stressing out.
My mom didn’t even hesitate to run to the store and get everything google said would help nausea and sat in bed with me while I sipped fluids and cried. She cheered me on while I got my butt out of bed and put on my work uniform and put myself together and sent encouraging texts while I was at work all night. Sometimes we really need that support. (Love you mom – thanks for that day).
2. Allow yourself to feel miserable with zero guilt
This is a sensitive one for me. For my first pregnancy, we had struggled to conceive for what felt like forever for us, only to have it end in an ectopic pregnancy. The loss was devastating for us and the mental and physical pain experienced were one of the biggest challenges I’ve faced. So when we finally got pregnant with our son, I felt that I could not ever be upset or complain during the pregnancy at all because I had wanted the pregnancy so badly.
This led to so many feelings of isolation and honestly, some depression. My pregnancy with my son was anything but easy for me, from start to finish, but I tried really hard to put a smile on my face, never complain, and just get through it. I found myself constantly pretending it wasn’t difficult because after struggling to get pregnant, I felt it was wrong to be anything but happy throughout.
I tried so hard to hide the limp I had while walking (due to pelvic joint issues) because I wanted to just hide and disguise any sort of bad parts I was experiencing. This just made the pain I was experiencing harder to bare.
You’re Allowed To Feel Awful and Complain
So I’m telling you this right now, you are allowed to dislike parts (or all) of pregnancy. This doesn’t make you any less grateful to become a mom. It just makes you human. Some women love pregnancy and don’t experience any difficulties, but some women struggle. It’s okay to admit that it sucks and that it is hard.
This time around, I have been drawing on my support system. I’ve been reaching out and venting when I need to. Sometimes crying on the really bad days. One of my best friends and I were talking one day and she said to me that she knows that I am beyond grateful for this baby, and that I’m allowed to vent and feel like junk. Her giving me “permission” to let it all out helped me release the guilt I was holding on to and ultimately helped me feel better.
The only thing I will say is to find a safe support system and vent away, but be mindful of your audience. After experiencing our loss and struggling to get pregnant with our son, my heart will always go out to mamas that are struggling to conceive or have experienced loss. Please always try to be mindful when around these mamas and refrain from any negativity. Yes, you are allowed to not enjoy every part, but it is insensitive to carry on in front of those that would trade places in a heartbeat.
3. Lean on your spouse or partner
I honestly have had no real choice in this one, I’ve been so sick that ‘doing it all’ wasn’t even an option. Lean on your partner! Let them cook and clean. Let them give your toddler a bath or put them to bed. Go rest or veg out on the couch. You will step back into your role in no time at all. For now, just rest and let them do the work while you are busy making a whole human.
If needed, explain this to your spouse so everyone is on the same page with expectations. I remember my husband getting stern with me and saying, “I’ve got this. Let me put our son to bed. I’ll clean up. Go relax.” It’s hard to step down and stop our normal routines, but it is so necessary during different seasons of life. In my eyes, I saw this as good practice for when we have a newborn again and I’m healing from birth.
I also leaned on my spouse big time for interacting and playing with our son. After way too many cartoons, I depended on my husband to get all my toddler’s energy out and do all the piggy back rides and whatnot once he got home from work each evening. It made me feel better about our lazy couch days to see him having such fun with his dad.
4. Give yourself all the grace
I’m a little bit strict when it comes to screen time and adhering to a general schedule in our house. Limiting screen time is just something that is important to me and it’s something I promised myself as a new parent that I would stick with.
I also have worked really hard to adapt to a schedule. As a part-time SAHM, schedules help me thrive. Otherwise our days just kind of blend together and I get nothing done and we do the same thing every single day.
But I’ve learned to give myself so. much. grace. during the first trimester. My son has gotten more screen time during this first trimester than he has in probably his whole life (okay, kidding), but seriously. This is how we’ve been surviving. Before I started anti-nausea medication, I’d be vomiting and dry heaving for hours and hours every morning (and afternoon). In between I’d be sitting on the couch, puke bucket near, eyes closed, while my toddler watched cartoons. This is how we got by. And it’s okay.
You’ll Get Back On Track Soon Enough
Later on, when I started the anti-nausea meds, they made me soooo sleepy. So we’d snuggle together under covers, cartoons on. And guess what? He is just fine. We will get back on track in just a few short weeks and we’ll both forget about this small time in our year that we overdid the cartoons. We will go back on our schedule and life will continue. For now, I’m just embracing the quiet and the snuggles on the couch.
I would have loved to set up little activities for my son the night before to help get us through our day. But honestly, it was an effort to just brush my teeth before bed let alone set up toddler activity centers. And I knew I wasn’t going to be able to properly supervise or participate in those activities anyways. For example, the smell of play dough would make me gag – so cartoons worked for us. But maybe you could try pre-set-up activities if you really want to avoid cartoons.
5. Talk to your doctor or midwife about medication options if you are severely sick
Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor and this isn’t medical advice. But girl, talk to your doctor if you are so nauseous or vomiting so much you can’t function. I literally couldn’t function properly to take care of my son and was quickly becoming dehydrated (dizzy, light headed, head pounding, low blood pressure, unable to keep liquids down). If this is you, talk to your doctor!
It really doesn’t have to be this miserable horrible period that you just power through. The medications helped just enough to not vomit and be able to eat without my stomach turning at the thought. It was a complete night and day difference for me. I’m only mad I didn’t begin them sooner. They didn’t 100% take the nausea away for me, but it really makes a HUGE difference.
For whatever reason, I felt guilty for asking for the medicated help at first and so I waited and suffered through for awhile. I felt guilty for not just getting through it on my own, but once I began the medications, I told myself I’d never again wait for the help if we decide to get pregnant again one day.
6. Sneak a nap whenever possible
Even if it’s just a quick 20-30 minutes, take those opportunities. If napping isn’t an option, go to bed early. Let your body rest. The early pregnancy hormones really are no joke when it comes to exhaustion.
I was fortunate enough to be able to take a nap almost every afternoon while Henry napped and it was what got me through those rough few weeks. Yes, it meant the housework and my to-do list suffered, but it’s okay. All of that can be done another day. Listen to your body and rest when you need it.
7. Find ways to make the pregnancy fun
For me, this has been doing a weekly bump picture. It’s fun to document the progress and to come up with the letter board each week. It’s a small little thing I look forward to amidst the yucky symptoms and also reminds me of the passage of time. One week closer to being through the morning sickness! Wahoo!
Another fun idea is filling out a pregnancy book. I did this with my first pregnancy and it was a fun way to document each week and milestone and helped me to connect to the pregnancy better.
8. Try very hard to eat as normally as possible
For me, this was only possible once I started the anti-nausea medications. Another reason I wish I would have started them immediately. I normally eat pretty healthy ever since I began a weight loss journey last year and really cleaned up my diet.
I rarely eat out and rarely eat fast food, watch my portions, and eat a lot of fruits, veggies, and fiber. But when the nausea hit, all I could stomach were crackers, breads, and carbs. Stuff like bagels and cream cheese, mac and cheese, etc. I also normally drink tons of water first thing in the morning and all day. But there were days where I’d have just a glass for the entire day when I was really sick.
The sudden change in my diet threw my GI system for a loop. I was a complete mess. I felt like it was a perfect storm between the pregnancy hormones, lack of hydration, and all the carbs for my body to just kind of go into shock and it took weeks for my GI system to get back on track. Not fun when you’re also vomiting.
I started to feel so much better once I got back my usual diet, started drinking more water, and taking my daily probiotics again (they really keep my GI system on track!). Your body is going through so much as it is and straying far off track from your usual eating patterns can really cause some major GI issues.
9. Workout when you can
I skipped many weeks of workouts due to the nausea and vomiting and other GI issues, but once I started my anti-nausea medications it felt SO good to get my body moving again. However, I never was able to get back up to my usual workout schedule, due to the medications making me very tired, but I did my best to keep up with my workouts because I knew it would help so much as I got bigger and also would help with labor and recovery.
Honestly, I felt like a million bucks the first day I worked out after many weeks off of my routine. Your body really does need to move to feel its best. Youtube has so many pregnancy-safe workouts to choose from too.
10. As cliche as it is, this too shall pass
I kind of hate that phrase because as you’re going through a tough time, nobody really wants to hear that. I roll my eyes a little every time someone tells me that, but it is so true. It feels never ending when you’re going through it. But I promise, this won’t last forever and you are most certainly tough enough to get through it.
And somehow so many of us are just crazy enough to sign up for all of this again and again. Because truly, these precious babies are worth every single struggle and more.
If you found this post helpful, be sure to check out my post sharing 15 pregnancy must-haves for a comfortable pregnancy. Let me know what tips you have for surviving the first trimester by leaving a comment below!
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